This week I came to a realisation that you don’t need to ask for permission, yet so many of us seek it. The realisation occurred during a conversation with my lovely friend, Caroline. She’s training to be a hypnotherapist and I’m lucky enough to be one of her volunteers.
We’ve been focusing on reducing my habitual busyness and bringing about more ease in my life. During last weeks session, she asked me what one thing I could do to improve my sense of ease and as I thought about it something came to mind that’s crossed my mind many times before.
The to-do list
I use a to-do list to plan my day and to keep me moving forwards. Admittedly, there are many times that I’ve looked at my list and thought it was far too long. Yet, I’ve done nothing to change that.
Instead of taking a step back and reducing my workload, I’ve tried to work harder. And yet ending the day with 2 or 3 unfinished tasks on my list made me feel rubbish. I could have completed 5 or 6 things during the day and been majorly productive, yet those 2 or 3 remaining things dragged me down.
They’d then get allocated to the next day which would add more pressure and things would snowball.
The problem wasn’t with the workload, it was with my own expectations. Numerous times, the quiet voice of reason whispered that I should cut down my daily workload. Yet for some reason (probably ego), I ignored it. And then I had that conversation with Caroline.
The Power of Three
So, as she asked what I could do to improve my feeling of ease each day, the quiet voice of reason once again presented its case. But this time, instead of brushing it away, I listened.
Shortly afterwards I found myself telling Caroline that I could put a maximum of 3 things on my to-do list. If I finished my tasks for the day and felt inspired then I could select something from the next day and get ahead on some of my deadlines but if not, I was safe in the knowledge that I’d done my tasks for the day.
Since then, I’ve been practising what I now affectionately term The Power of Three and it feels amazing. No longer do I open my to-do list and feel overwhelmed, my day is less rushed and I do feel much more at ease. Plus, at the end of the day when I look at the blank screen (I use the Things 3 app) I feel content and pleased with what I’ve achieved, rather than disheartened by the remaining items on the list.
It’s safe to say that I’ll continue to use The Power of Three for the foreseeable future.
You Don’t Need Permission
The other thing that struck me about this is that I’ve known the answer for months, yet I chose to ignore it. In fact, it was only when I’d discussed the idea with someone else and got their approval that I decided to try it.
It’s interesting that I didn’t trust my own instincts to reduce my workload, instead, I waited until someone else gave me permission (by acknowledging that it was a good idea) to try it. And I think that this is a trap many of us fall into.
Humans are social creatures, pack animals, and I do think we often select our actions by the perceived response of the ‘pack’. It’s a built-in safety mechanism. But we also need to trust our gut and watch for those times when we instinctively know what to do and just do it.
Of course, if we’re stuck or uncertain, then, by all means, seek advice, but when you know the action you need to take then you don’t need permission from anyone else to take it.
So tune in and start listening to your gut – or that quiet voice – and you won’t go far wrong.
This is the key message I want to take forwards into 2022 and if it serves you, then please take it on board as your own too.
You don’t need permission from others – and what a note to end on for the final month of my Year of Letting Go challenge.
Wishing you a wonderful Christmas
I had planned to come on here and write a short post to wish you all a Merry Christmas. As you can see, my inspiration took me in another direction.
But as I type these words, I’m sending you warm wishes for the festive season and I hope you get to spend time this Christmas doing something that you love and hopefully with people that you love too.
Have a wonderful Christmas and I’ll see you on the other side.
Vicky x
Image courtesy of Hayley Maxwell