August saw me letting go of my 30s. The keen-eyed among you will notice that we’re now firmly in October, so this blog post is somewhat behind times. However, it’s something I’ve been reflecting on while journalling so I wanted to share more about this transitional decade.
My 30s were a pivotal decade in my life. They reflect a time when I truly began to stand on my own two feet, formulate my own ideas about the world and affirm my own identity.
To be somewhat corny, if I had to give it a label (and you know how I love to play around with words), some might say it was a time of sexuality, savings and self-exploration. So let’s just stick with those labels for the sake of this blog post.
Sexuality
I turned 30 with my first female partner by my side. I’d come out about 9 months beforehand and after being in a heterosexual relationship for 10 years previously. It was a huge turning point. At the risk of sounding clichéd, for the first time ever things just felt right. I felt comfortable in my own skin.
My 30s saw me experience a few relationships, all of which taught me something more about myself before I finally met CP, who I’m now happily engaged to. I’ve never experienced a relationship that feels so easy and effortless.
For those of you who don’t know, we met through Tinder – something that I never thought I’d use. Yes, I was a bit of a Tinder-basher pre CP and very happily single. After a random experience of being asked out at the cinema (yes really), an event that went nowhere, but served to plant the seed that I might just be open to dating again, a friend suggested I sign-up to the dating app.
I initially brushed the idea aside before finally relenting. In a somewhat beautiful, ‘told you so‘ moment from the universe, CP was the first person I met up with and I knew instantly that I’d met someone very special. A year later, she proposed and the rest is history…or at least ours for the making.
Savings
My 30s were huge for me financially too. I achieved my dream of being mortgage-free. You can read more about it here but let’s just say the experience was a mixture of amazing, confusing and freeing – in that order.
Paying off my mortgage gave enabled me to go part-time, allowing for some much needed thinking space to step back, ponder and explore life’s possibilities.
The space led me to set up my own business, resulting in me marking my 40s by handing my notice in and stepping out on my own into self-employment. But I also began to explore self-publishing and Etsy after being brave and attending the Pop Up Business School during lockdown.
As I write this, I’ve literally just published my first kindle book after learning the ropes through publishing notebooks, journals and planners.
Self-exploration
I feel like my 30s were the first time that I began to really discover who I really was. It was a decade when I turned down the volume of the external world and began to look within.
I encountered a few challenging experiences that forced me to reflect on life, who I wanted to be and how I wanted to live it.
My grandad’s death on my birthday hit me particularly hard. We were so incredibly close and it was the first time I’d experienced the death of a close family member. But I also remember it being a turning point where I became acutely aware of the transience of life and from that point onwards, I decided to truly own my life. If I wanted to do something, I’d do it. No more being scared and sitting on the sidelines.
My first challenge was to go to a yoga class. It’s something that I’d always been interested in but too scared to attend as I wasn’t flexible and had no clue what I was doing. I laugh now looking back as I suspect that’s how most people feel when they start yoga. Anyway, thanks to Grandad Len, I dragged myself along to my first yoga class. And while I was there, trying to ease into my first pose, I could hear him cracking a joke: “Look at you – silly sod.” I almost laughed out loud at the reminder not to take life so seriously.
And as morbid as it sounds, death is always something I come back to. It’s been a frequent companion during my 30s but also a timely reminder to seize the day and live life on my own terms.
Letting go of my 30s
So I say goodbye to my 30s, not with sadness or regret, but with a great sense of thankfulness for all that I learnt and all I became during that decade.
Now as I step into my 40s, I plan to continue the learning journey. I’m declaring to the world that the Naughty 40s will be a decade of fun and following my own path. And who knows what else might show up along the way.
So farewell dear 30s and thank you for all you have taught me. Welcome 40s, I think we’ll get along just fine.
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Image courtesy of NIPYATA!